Tether

Stay connected, on your terms.

A free desires checklist for the kink community.
Fill out privately. Share a code. Discover what you both want. Nothing leaves your device.

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How it works

Three steps. Completely private. No account needed.

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1. Fill out your list

Rate activities across Self, Giving, and Receiving contexts — only where it makes sense for each activity. Take your time; it's for honest self-reflection, not speed.

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2. Get your code

Your answers are packed into a short shareable code. Nothing is sent to any server. Share it only with who you choose.

3. Discover your overlap

Enter each other's codes to reveal Matches, Talking points, and Gaps. Your partner sees the same results — no sneaking a peek first.

FAQ

What is a desires checklist?

A desires checklist is a communication tool used in the kink and BDSM community. Partners each fill out the same list independently, then compare. It helps you discover mutual interests, open conversations about things you might be shy to bring up, and clarify limits — without the pressure of a live negotiation.

How does the code work?

Your answers are packed into a compact binary code. Nothing touches a server. The code is the data — no external storage. Save it to your notes, share it only with who you choose. Two people each enter the other's code to compute the comparison locally.

Is my data actually private?

Yes. Tether is a static HTML page. There is no backend, no database, and no analytics. Your browser does all the work. We have no way to see your answers even if we wanted to.

Can I use this without a partner?

Absolutely. Many people use the list for self-exploration — to understand their own desires, curiosities, and limits. Save your code to revisit later.

Why do some activities only show some context buttons?

Because not every activity makes sense in every context. Sexting, for example, can't really be done "with yourself" — so only Giving and Receiving appear. Activities like solo masturbation only show a Self rating. The app shows only the contexts that are actually meaningful for each activity.

What are HIGH RISK activities?

Items marked ⚠ HIGH RISK (like breath play) are activities where mistakes can cause serious harm. They require specific education, skill, and deep trust before attempting. Seek out community resources and mentors first.

What is Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)?

Safe: Minimise risk, learn about activities, negotiate boundaries, establish a safeword. Sane: Decide with a clear head, free from pressure; check in before, during, and after. Consensual: All activities freely agreed to by everyone; consent can be withdrawn at any moment.

RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) acknowledges that some activities carry inherent risk even with precautions — reducible through education and communication.

Who made Tether?

Tether is a free, community-built tool with no corporate backing, no subscription, and no monetisation. If you find it useful, share it with someone who might benefit.

🪢 Tether Review
Your list
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🪢 Tether Your code

Your personal code

Save this code — it's the only way to restore your list or compare results later.

How your partner uses this

1
Send them your code (copy + paste, message, etc.)
2
They open Tether and fill out their own list
3
Either of you enters both codes below to see results
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🪢 Tether Results